Losing someone you love feels like losing a part of yourself. I didn’t fully understand that until it happened to me. And strangely, after they were gone, I began to meet them again in my dreams.
At first, it felt confusing. I wondered if it was just my mind playing tricks. But as the dreams continued, I started asking deeper questions: Why was this happening? Was there any meaning behind it? Was it normal? I began to research, reflect, and slowly heal. Today, I want to share my journey — both personal and science-backed about what really happens when we dream of someone we’ve lost.
The First Dream: A Sudden Reunion
It happened about two weeks after I lost my dear brother. We were very close; he was like a second father to me. I thought I was coping well. I was going through the motions of work, life, and family gatherings. But one night, out of nowhere, he appeared in my dream.
We were sitting on a bench under a big mango tree, the same one that grew in our childhood home. He smiled warmly, just like he used to, and said only one sentence:
“You’re doing better than you think.”
When I woke up, my heart ached and yet felt comforted. Was it just my mind longing for him? Or was it something more?
What Science Says About Dreaming of the Departed
Curious and a little desperate for answers, I started researching what psychologists and sleep researchers had to say.
Here’s what I found:
1. Dreams Help Us Process Grief
Dreaming of a loved one is often part of the brain’s way of handling grief. According to Dr. Joshua Black, a grief researcher specializing in dreams, these dreams can help us process loss emotionally and psychologically. Our subconscious mind uses the familiar presence of the person we lost to bring comfort and healing.
2. They Often Reflect Unfinished Emotions
Sometimes, we have things we didn’t get to say or do. Dreams offer a safe space for those “unfinished” emotions to find a voice. They give us a second chance to say goodbye, apologize, or simply feel connected again.
3. Dreams Can Be Symbolic
In many cases, the person we dream about may symbolize a part of ourselves that feels lost too. It could be innocence, courage, wisdom or whatever that person represented to us.
4. Dreams Are a Natural Part of Healing
Instead of thinking dreams are random, science now understands that dreaming is a vital function of memory and emotional regulation. It’s completely normal to dream about someone important, especially when you’re grieving.
My Other Dreams: Pieces of Healing
After that first dream, my brother appeared in two more dreams over the next few months. Each one felt a little different.
- The second dream showed us walking along a beach. He was quiet, but his presence felt calming.
- The third dream was of him waving goodbye, smiling, with no sadness.
Each dream left me with a different emotion — sadness, peace, gratitude. And slowly, I noticed that my heart was hurting a little less. It didn’t mean I stopped missing him. But something about those dreams gave me the strength to move forward.
Common Themes in Dreams of Lost Loved Ones
Based on both my experience and research, I noticed these common patterns:
- Reassurance Dreams: The person tells you they’re okay, or that you’ll be okay.
- Visitation Dreams: These dreams feel incredibly real, almost like a spiritual visit.
- Conflict Dreams: Sometimes, if the relationship was complicated, the dreams may involve arguments or apologies.
- Silent Dreams: The person may simply be present, offering quiet support without words.
No matter the type, they all serve one purpose: healing.
Are These Dreams “Signs” From Beyond?
This is a personal question, and different cultures, religions, and beliefs have different answers.
From a scientific view, most researchers say dreams are natural brain activity.
But personally?
I believe that when someone we love deeply appears in our dreams, it’s more than neurons firing. It’s love finding its way through memory and spirit.
Maybe it’s our way of staying connected to the people who shaped us.
Maybe it’s their way of reminding us that love doesn’t end, it just changes.
How to Find Comfort When You Dream of Someone You Lost
Through my own journey, here’s what helped me:
- Don’t fear the dreams. They are part of healing, not something to be afraid of.
- Write about them. I kept a simple dream journal. Writing helped me remember the feelings and lessons.
- Talk about them. Sometimes sharing with a friend or family member can lighten the emotional load.
- Honor the memory. Light a candle, visit a place you shared, or simply say a prayer.
- Be patient with your grief. Healing isn’t a straight line. Dreams are reminders that love, and grief are both messy and beautiful.
A Personal Reflection: What These Dreams Taught Me
Dreaming of my brother didn’t erase the pain of losing him.
But it did soften the sharp edges.
It taught me that love doesn’t stop existing just because someone leaves physically.
It lives on, in our hearts, our memories, and yes, even in our dreams.
I realized something powerful:
Grief isn’t about forgetting. It’s about learning how to carry the memory with grace.
Takeaway Lesson for You, My Reader
If you find yourself dreaming of someone you’ve lost, know that you are not alone.
Your mind, body, and spirit are working together to heal you in the best way they know how.
Don’t fear these dreams. Welcome them as bridges between what was, what is, and what will always remain — love.
Let the dreams remind you:
You were loved.
You still are.
And love, even in its quietest, most mysterious forms, never truly fades.